10 Secrets to Boost your Child’s confidence

Secret #2: Stop Controlling, Start listening

One of the greatest misconceptions of parenting is that we are actually responsible for our kids’ behaviors.

We use things like punishment and rewards as ways to control what our kids do. and sometimes it works, but it definitely sends the wrong message

If kids do well if they can see, then what is the thing that is missing for them so that they “can.”

Is it a skill? Is it compassion, support? Think about what you can support or help your child with so that they can actually can.

Take Action: When your child starts struggling with something, think about what he needs to feel capable of doing it. It might be anything, so don’t be afraid to ask your child, “What do you need so that you can do it?”

Secret #3: Encourage with a capital “E”

The “E” here is for “Effort.” Please always encourage and affirm the effort, not the outcome.

Using the word, I see by saying something like “I see that you spent a lot of time on this” is a great way of encouraging the effort.

In doing so, you teach your child to work hard and try, rather than to worry about grades or results.

Take Action: Start recognizing the effort your child puts into anything, even if it’s in play, and tell them that you see it.

Secret #4: Talk Positively about your Child

I know your child has some challenging behavior that you would love for them to work on.

And I also know that you are so tired and talking to a friend can sometimes relieve the stresses you are having

But if you really want to change your child’s behavior, you have to talk positively about your child. It’s also crucial to raise their self-confidence.

Whether at home or with friends. take note of all the positive traits your child has

The more positive traits you see, the more positive traits they see in themselves. and that’s what builds Self Awareness.

We want them to have Self awareness so that they can use their strengths and powers to be successful and to keep trying.

Take Action: Write down three positive things about your child every day before you sleep. and don’t forget to tell them about those positive actions or traits.

Secret #5: Make them contribute

Two things determine your self-esteem: Your ability to take care of yourself totally and your ability to contribute to a group that you are a member of.

Teach your child responsibility by first teaching them how to take care of themselves (brush their teeth, get dressed, make their breakfast, and clean their bedroom)

Then teach them how to contribute to their home, family, school, and community.

Take Action: Create a Chore-list for each family member according to their age and trust them to do it on their own. they will learn by making mistakes. Do this and boost your child’s confidence.

Secret #6: Use descriptive Praise

Clapping and saying things like “Wow, Good Job or Bravo” might work to motivate Toddlers.

But as your child grows, those words and the clapping lose their function and don’t teach them anything.

Descriptive praise is extremely easy. All you have to do is describe the good behavior you are seeing.

Yes, that’s all it takes.

By doing that, your child feels seen and feels that his work or story was worth your time and attention. It’s a great way to boost your child’s confidence.

Take Action: When your child shows you something they did, Look at it closely and describe what you see by saying something like, “I can see you used the colors red and green to draw the Christmas tree.”

Secret #7: Affirm the Feelings

Whenever your child feels hurt or in pain, please don’t give solutions or tell them that it’s nothing.

Don’t minimize or dismiss their feelings. Remember that sensitivity and pain tolerance is different from one person to the other.

You might cry over something that might be small for someone else.

When your child comes to you because they’re hurt, remember that they come to you for support and comfort and not for judgment or solution.

Affirm the feeling they are having by saying what you think they are feeling. Using words like “I see that you are sad that your friend had to go home.”

Then follow it by affirming that you understand what they wish would happen. “You wish she could have stayed over.”

Embrace their emotions, don’t make them afraid to cry or show emotion. Empower them to express whatever feeling they are having, knowing that you are their support

Take Action: Next time, your child comes to you with big emotion. Affirm their emotion and follow it by what they wished would have happened.

Secret #9: Don’t Rescue

Rescuing your child every time they struggle with something makes them more dependant on you.

We want them to work things out independently by making mistakes since that is how the brain learns.

Trust them to get through things and figure it out on their own

If you want to help, the best thing you can do is ask questions.

Questions like ” How did that make you feel? or What would make it better?” can help the brain find solutions.

Remember that if they worked it out on their own, they will feel more confident in their abilities and thus have more self-confidence.

Take Action: Trust them to get through hard challenges. Please help them by being there for support rather than for solving it for them.

Secret #10: Encourage Problem Solving

Like I mentioned in secret #9, encourage problem-Solving by asking the right questions

Questions like what do you want to achieve? Or What would be the kindest way to talk about what’s hurting you?

Questions can be very powerful. Please don’t use your knowledge to tell them how they should solve a problem, but rather ask them how they would do it.

Listen and respect their answers, as kids can be brilliant and creative.

Take Action: Discuss the problem with them and ask them questions, so that they will learn to solve it independently.