Why you should have family meetings & how to conduct them

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Being a mother is not easy. We try to balance and juggle everything alone; Cleaning the house, doing laundry, driving everyone everywhere, taking care of school papers, shopping for everyone and Let’s not forget helping with school work and tests.

I couldn’t do it all without failing at something. but then I read about this wonderful idea called “Family Meetings”. I have free family meeting agenda printables in my resource library. To get it, you can sign up for my newsletter at the bottom of this page and I’ll send you the password.

When you come to think of it running a household is somehow like running a business. you have so many aspects and tasks, you have goals and if you delegate well then everything will work great.

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Why you should have family meetings?

Family meetings are simply a day a week that we all gather together as a family (every talking member of the family has to participate) and you discuss goals, work plan, chores, successes and failures of the corresponding week or month.

That way if you’re busy all week, everyone is held accountable to his chores and responsibilities and it’s actually a great time to reflect on all the important things that happened this week. It’s a great bonding time.

Trust me! Start having family meetings and you will see such a great difference in your household and your everyday life.

So how would you do that and what exactly should the meeting include? well here is how I plan and conquer my family meetings while keeping everyone excited about it

1) Pick a day that works well for your whole family

1. Make sure to schedule your meetings on relaxed days; a day when there are no extracurricular activities, so that you’re not so tired nor stressed. Remember this has to be “Positive” for it to work.
2. I always like to schedule the family meeting right after dinner, just because I don’t want anyone to stop the meeting because he’s hungry or thirsty. This way we can have a smooth meeting where everyone is relaxed and happy.
3. Everyone has to be present; schedule your Weekly meetings on days where everyone is present. Please remember that sometimes we are all too busy and sometimes days and even weeks go by when we don’t have the time to sit around a table and bond. So take this as an opportunity to be there and to bond with one another.
4. Be Flexible; My husband is a doctor, so sometimes he has a night shift or a conference that he has to attend. When this happens we reschedule the meeting for another day of the week.

2) Create an Agenda for the Meeting

Our agenda goes something like this; you can amend it according to your family’s needs.

1. Schedule of the week: I find that this is the best time to jot down all of our appointments, training and anything that needs to be scheduled so that we are all on the same track. For us, that was a life-changer because first of all, it eliminated the need to panic over things that weren’t scheduled. and it taught us all that sometimes it’s ok to say no to things.
   • We always had the problem that my oldest daughter would go to her friends and invite them over on days where I or Ahmed have something else planned. but last week her friend came to her and asked her if she can come over and my daughter told her that she will have to reschedule for the next week because I had a discussion (Parent coaching session) on that day and I needed the quiet.
   • so sit together and write down everything for the week (Parents meetings, swimming classes, playdates, doctor’s appointments and trips to the grocery store) I even schedule my self-care time.
2. Meal Plan: Meal planning for me is a struggle because I have to plan for three meals a day for a week plus snacks and I find that sometimes it takes me forever. but after starting the family meetings, It became such an easy thing to do because everyone just tells me his thoughts and we discuss it so it takes from 5 to 10 minutes to complete the whole thing. (Sometimes I prepare suggestions)
3. Highs and Lows: Make this a time when everyone shares his successes and disappointments this week; a moment when he felt good and another when he felt bad, lonely or felt like he failed. you won’t believe the things that you will learn about your kids and your spouse.
4. Goals of the Week: Make each member say his goal for this week and how he is going to accomplish it (Break it into small steps). it doesn’t have to be something big. i.e;
   • improve agility by running for 10 minutes daily
   • getting a good grade in an exam by solving math for 10 minutes every day
   • improving hygiene by brushing teeth 2 times a day instead of 1.
   • organizing a drawer… etc.,
5. Household projects:
   • Here is when we talk about what needs maintenance in the house. “The sink that doesn’t work since last summer and you just keep pushing it”
   • We also talk about chores that need to be added. Like for example if I need some time off this week, I delegate the chore of laundry to the kids (Yes, my kids do Laundry and my youngest 4-year-old irons clothing💪). Those are not for chores that will be added to our chore lists for the year. It’s just for those weekly things that need to be done. Getting the kids and your husband to help you around the house is such a life-changer.
6. Needs:
   • We then talk about each and everyone’s individual needs and this can be anything from physical to emotional. Like if someone needs to spend some alone time with another member of the family. Or a kid needs a stool because he can’t reach the top cabinets. any need of any sort. I find this keeps everyone in the family engaged and shows that their needs and their needs are important.

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3) Set a time

We all know how our kids can sometimes take an hour to put on a sock so imagine how much time will it take for this meeting to go. I find it really helpful to set a specific time for each part of the meeting.

A meeting shouldn’t take more than 30 minutes to an hour. So, for example, we do it like this:

• 3 things each person is grateful for
• 5 minutes for schedule making
• 5 minutes for Meal Planning
• 10-20 minutes for Successes and Failures (That’s the thing I try to take my time with because it’s a great time for all of us to share our experiences and feelings) I give 4 minutes for each family member. And if it’s something alarming or important; I just take her afterward and we discuss it together. I don’t set a timer for this because sometimes it takes less than 5 minutes each
• 5 minutes for Home Maintenance

4) Rotate who’s managing the meeting

obviously, you’ll be in charge of the first meeting so that you can show your family how it’s done. but I find that rotating the task of managing the meeting is a great way to teach your kids leadership, confidence and public speaking (I know that’s not really public speaking but I am all about small steps here;

If your kid isn’t confident in speaking in front of his/her loved ones. Step by step he’ll be confident in speaking in front of others) plus it keeps them enthusiastic about family meetings.

5) Set the Mood

• Setting the mood for the meeting is a deal-breaker. Don’t sit where you can see or hear the TV and expect the kids to give you their attention. Sit around a table or in a circle where everyone can see each other.
• Sit in a well-lit area
• Don’t do your meetings on the Bed (Most probably your husband is gonna snooze off after a long day)
• Put water for everyone so that they can be hydrated and no one will interrupt the meeting to drink water
• Sit on a table where there are no toys or snacks within reach, coz you can imagine what’s gonna happen.

6) Take Notes

We set our meetings just like multinational companies set their meetings (It keeps it interesting for the kids and gives each one of them an interesting task to do)

We put a notepad and a pen for each member, even for my 4-year-old daughter who doesn’t know how to write yet (She scribbles or draws) it makes her feel like an adult.

I encourage each family member to write notes. It teaches them to be alert and to learn to write only the important things “That’s such a great exercise that helps with extracting the important information from a text at school”.

after the meeting, I sit with each one of them for a minute to see what she wrote (This is very important because it lets them know that their thoughts are important)

and then I assign another person to collect all notes and write them down in a new paper which we use to track our tasks for the week (Of course I help with that).

The last thing is that each one of them writes her goals, chores, and tasks in her weekly and daily to-do list that’s hung in her bedroom so that she can keep track of everything.

7) Stay Positive

Family meetings are positive and they should stay this way. This is not the time to blame, yell or give life lessons. It’s time to listen and take action. It’s a safe place where everyone can say what they want to say and share their emotions in a safe environment.

8) Don’t Skip

Skipping Family meetings will just put you under the pressure of planning, shopping, and doing everything for the week. So please make it a priority and don’t skip it

Talk to your family about how important it is and block it out in your calendar so you don’t schedule anything at the time of the family meetings

You can download my printable Family Meeting agenda, Calendar, and Meal Planner for free.

Please don’t forget to share your thoughts and suggestions and would be great if you can send me photos of your family meetings. I would really love to get to know you and hear your feedback.

Love, Ola