7 Must have Self-care habits
Self-care is the single most important thing that all moms need to do to really reach their best potential as moms.
If you think that’s crazy read my last blog post “is Self-Care important or are you being a selfish mom“.
who said tantrums are for children only. We can get tantrums too. If you want a way to get rid of tantrums, read my blog post 5 steps to eliminate mom tantrums
It has been a long day, you didn’t sleep well, coz your kid came into the bedroom at night saying that he can’t sleep.
You decided it’s easier to let him into bed than to struggle over getting back to his bed. But after that you couldn’t sleep coz the bed was tight and he kept tossing and turning in bed.
comes the morning and the hot mess starts; you go into the toilet but the kids keep knocking asking for their lunch boxes. You get out without even washing your face. Kids are screaming, clothes are all over the place, your daughter can’t find her brush, your husband needs to iron his shirt and you are already running late for everything.
and when finally done with all the drama and just preparing to get out of the door; thinking that you will still have to clean the place up when you get home. Your daughter comes crying and she says “mommy I’m not going to school”.
Feeling like you’re boiling up, the steam coming out of your ears, face is all red, trying to keep your calm. You take a deep breath and you try to calm yourself by counting to 10.
You ask her “why?” and she says “well I didn’t do my homework coz I forgot it at school yesterday”. Instead of dealing with the problem by letting her experience the consequences of her actions. You snap and you start losing your temper.
We’ve all been there but is there a way to avoid it. Well YES… the 2 secret words are called “Self-care” and “Planning”. (I’ll be talking about planning in another post )
We get tantrums just as our kids do. The reason for our tantrums is just the same as their reason for theirs. We are tired, exhausted and totally burned out.
because the day we gave birth to those beautiful, magnificent and magical creatures who are our kids. We made the decision that their needs are more important than ours.
and that my friend as noble as it may be, is the worst thing you can do for them. A mother who loses her temper or drives her self into complete burnout or even worse “psychological problems caused by stress and fatigue” is not a good mother for anyone.
Yet, a mother who cares for herself and knows that sometimes she has to put her needs first for just an hour or 2 a day, is a much happier, more productive and efficient mom.
Believe me, a happy MOM means a happy home. You are the heart of the home. You are the source of sunshine, warmth, and tenderness in your home. and if you are dark and gloomy the whole home will stop beating…
The best thing you can do for your home is to care for yourself.
The 7 must-have Self-care habits
we all have the same needs to survive and just like our kids, we need simple things.
SLEEP
we need to be well-rested to function properly. A healthy adult needs from 7 to 9 hours of sleep to function at their best. and Sleeping is the most important thing to do.
So make your bed comfortable, switch off your phone 30 minutes before sleep, light up some candles. just set the mood for a good night’s sleep…
When my kids come to me at night saying that they can’t sleep, I always ask why?. Cause if it’s a nightmare then I will wake up and give them my utmost attention.
But that rarely happens. and when it’s a nightmare, you know it’s a nightmare. but other than that I found that if I escort them back to bed, tuck them in and kiss them goodnight. they know that sleeping with mommy and daddy isn’t an option and after doing it for two nights, they don’t do it again.
EAT
Food and sleep are our fuel, that’s how we function so you need to make sure that you eat 3 healthy meals a day and enjoy them. don’t skip breakfast to clean the house, don’t eat chips for dinner and don’t say the common excuse of “I hate eating alone”.
Wake up make your self a healthy breakfast, lunch, and dinner and eat them. and if you don’t like eating alone then maybe you just need to make it fun.
Treat yourself to a nice looking healthy breakfast in the garden or in the balcony or even eat it while watching your favorite show. I’m sure you can find 15 minutes for each meal every single day.
LOOK GOOD, FEEL GOOD
We all want to see our kids in their best appearance, wearing beautiful clothes, and looking clean. So why not set a good example for them and start by yourself. Kids learn by following their parents. So take a nice bath or a hot shower, have facials and get your nails done.
Always wear what you really love. Clothes that make you feel confident and beautiful.
Last spring I binge-watched the Netflix show “tidying up with Marie Kondo”. and the thing that really struck a chord was how she declutters her clothes by hugging them and seeing if they spark joy or not. and I found that to be such a great idea.
I went to my closet and threw everything that didn’t spark joy. That way I had only clothes that I love. I even use this method when I buy new clothes. I don’t buy clothes if they don’t spark joy.
Everyone has a different way of doing things. so do the kinds of things that make YOU happy. and don’t let society dictate what you should do or don’t do.
Self-care doesn’t have to be getting pedicures every week or putting makeup on. if you enjoy that then do it but if you don’t, then find your own way of doing things. The most important thing is that it brings you joy.
BE HEALTHY
Taking care of our health is a no brainer right, but unfortunately, sometimes that’s the first thing neglect; saying that we don’t have time or money for a gym subscription this month.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. you can just start by making time to go outside of your home and out of your pajamas every day and just take a walk. Walking is an easy and free exercise that you can do anytime and anywhere.
Walking for 30 minutes a day is all you need to keep you healthy. If you can’t do it for 30 minutes then walk for less but keep on doing it.
The most important thing is to get into the habit of being active, and then you will start getting motivated and you’ll start scheduling other exercises that you love.
MIND
Our minds need 4 things to function well: exercise, a healthy diet, stress management, and mental stimulation.
Stress management; Now I can’t stress on this enough… Stress is our number 1 enemy, It’s like our real poison. It’s nearly the cause for most of our problems “Physical and mental”. so you need to avoid stress at all costs.
Meditate, Get to know yourself by keeping a diary or a journal, find a support system; anyone who supports you and makes you feel comfortable talking to. You need to do everything to avoid stress, so please make this a priority.
Mental stimulation; our brain is a muscle that needs practicing. so my advice to you is Learn, Learn and Learn.
Was there anything that you really enjoyed doing as a kid? like drawing, singing, playing an instrument?
why not look for a class that you can take to revive this passion you once had before. online classes are such a great way to learn for busy parents, coz you can schedule them anytime you want.
Learn a new skill or a new hobby, learn to do something you always wanted to do? Maybe knitting or dancing.
Learning keeps us young. It keeps us passionate and hopeful about life.
HEART and SOUL
Now that’s my favorite subject. Taking care of our hearts and souls is simple. It’s all about the word “connect”;
Connect to your inner self, connect to your beliefs, connect to the people you love and really have fun with it.
Stop being so serious, Love and Laughter can mend a broken heart. So fill your life with people that bring you joy. Hug your kids more often. build legos together have fun nights, Play charades, have a date night, go out with a friend. Do the things that make you feel more connected. Do the things that make you more passionate about life.
At the end of the day; don’t forget that being a parent doesn’t make you lose who you once were before having children. You are the same person but just with a beautiful gift from god.
You have to honor that gift by taking care of yourself so that one day they can grow up to be strong adults, who know how to take care of themselves.
Prioritize your self, Prioritize your self-care
love, Ola
